PWS Awareness Month- Day 24

Hi Everyone,

Another popular question we received was how is Kemett at being a big brother.  Mabel is now 9 months old, and moving around, stealing toys, and so much more!  Kemett is a great big brother.  He asks about his sister, talks to her, and plays with her.  He also gets upset when she takes a toy or is in his space when he’s playing, but I think those are pretty typical things.  They are really cute together and you can tell that he cares about her so much!  He says things like, I love you Mabel Grace or asks how she is doing.

We are looking forward to see how they grow together as they get older.  It was really important to us that Kemett had a sibling.  Someone to play with, to push him, to be there for him and vice versa.  We also wanted there to be someone who will be there as he gets older and we may not be able to help him if something happens to us.  I know that is pretty heavy and we hope that responsibility does not fall on her shoulders completely.  It was not an easy journey to get here, as we talked about last year, we did IVF for Mabel because this was so important to us.

We don’t know what life will look like going forward.  Up until this point, our life has revolved around Kemett- his diet, his therapies, doctors, etc.  And they still do for the most part, but he has also had to get used to my attention being taken by Mabel for eating, etc.  We want them both to know that they are important to us, and equal.  We don’t want Mabel to ever feel like Kemett is our priority and that she is just stuck or unloved.  I hope this makes them both stronger, more patient, flexible and loving people.

Mabel has been such a great addition to our family.  It has been a different experience for sure!  In many ways, it has been therapeutic and healing.  I had a VBAC for her because the thought of going into an OR again gave me anxiety and brought up too much from Kemett’s birth.  I wanted to rewrite the story.  It was not easy, but I would not change this for the world.  Mabel also was able to breastfeed immediately.  This has been an amazing experience after exclusively pumping for Kemett for 9 months.  She is loud!  She can scream and cry like none other and that took a lot for us to get used to.  At the same time, she can be quiet and very easy going.  She is fast and strong and is already standing independently.  She’s on the move and getting into everything.

One big thing is that she does not have food allergies.  This has allowed us to have lots of talks with Kemett about his allergies, his special tummy and being safe.  I was anxious about this at first, but I think it has been a good thing.

We know that life is not always easy for a sibling of a child with special needs.  My hope is that we are able to make them both feel special, let them be their own person, and grow together as a family.  We will take it one day at a time.

I was talking to a dear friend recently about this very subject.  We feel very complete right now with 2 children, but I said I worried about who Mabel would go to for support if Kemett couldn’t be that person.  And my friend said, how do you know that he won’t be that support for her?  How do you know there won’t be a treatment soon that will allow him to live independently or go to college, etc?  My friend has one brother, and she said they go to each other to commiserate about their parents and are there for each other if something happened to a parent.  And of course they are friends.  I hope that Kemett and Mabel can have a normal sibling relationship.  I hope they can get from one another what I’ve gotten from my siblings.   I guess I shouldn’t give up that hope before we even know if it can truly happen.  There are so many unkowns in our future, so I will go back to living one day at a time and doing the best we can raising these two beautiful children!

Please let us know if you have any questions!

Love,

The Demands



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3 thoughts on “PWS Awareness Month- Day 24

  1. Don’t forget about cousins! This is something Robin and I have talked about as we have chosen to be a one-child family. It’s hard when there are pros and cons to every decision and when it comes to adding more kids to your immediate family, your choices can only be yes or no, there is no in between. So we focus on forming close relationships with cousins so that she will hopefully have some of that support as an adult. I know you are close to your sisters so I’m sure Kemett and Mabel will have wonderful relationships with their cousins and can go to them for support in adulthood.

    I just think…there are always negatives to everything. Some of the things that your kids will deal with growing up will be fairly unique due to circumstances. But those things can also provide them with a unique perspective and an ingrained compassion both of which are amazing gifts to them.

    You are a great mom, Melissa, and it’s obvious that you are giving your kids a wonderful, fulfilling childhood. I enjoy learning about Kemett each May!

    • Katie, Thank you for the wonderful comment. I should have added in about cousins because we really feel like those are so important in our lives as well. Kemett and Mabel are close in age to my sisters kids, and although on my husbands side they are older, they are still close to them as well. We are lucky we come from such close families so that our kids have that support. Thank you for reminding me of this perspective and your kind words. Thanks for reading our blog! It means so much to us!

  2. Melissa, I love your blog! I love hearing about Kemett & your strength in giving him the best life possible! I too had a special needs child & know how much of your life that takes! However, I wouldn’t change that. Both your children are so darling? I feel inspired to be a better person every time I read your blog!

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